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I have been with my girlfriend for the last six years and our relationship is never boring. A few times a week I give my girlfriend flowers. Usually I buy a bouquet of roses. She loves roses and I love giving them to her. I love seeing the smile on her face every time she receives my gift. She always tells me that I am so thoughtful.
When we go out, I always open the door for my girlfriend. The same goes for the car door. I open and shut the door for her. In the morning I always wake my girlfriend up with coffee in bed. She loves it.
I know most guys will not go this far for their girlfriends. My male friends think I am crazy. My female co-workers think I am amazing. They always tell me that they wished their boyfriend’s would do it to them. They all tell me that when they started dating, their boyfriend’s would always open doors and give flowers. But, as the relationship grew their boyfriends at first occasionally forgot and then just stopped unless it was a special occasion like a birthday. A few of them are jealous.
The interesting thing is that a few of my male friends tell me that you must treat a woman with a little aloofness. You must show her you are in control. Don’t let her think you are too soft or she will take advantage of you. Well, I think these are all mistaken ideas. Most of my friends who always tell me they know better are not married. They are always with a new girl every time I meet them. I have a friend who in the past six years has been married twice and had five live in girlfriends. They always leave him. Why? He thinks that being selfish will keep the girls with him. Hopefully, after I show him this short report he will learn not to be so selfish. If he is smart he will at least come to understand that he is doing something wrong.
I love to buy little gifts once or twice a week for my girlfriend. They are not expensive gifts. I always find just some little things that she likes. Most are just cost a few dollars. But, by the way she smiles, she looks like she is getting a diamond.
I will try to surprise her with a night out at least once a week. We leave the kids with the grandparents and we will go to dinner then maybe a movie or to a concert and sometimes we go bowling or to the local Borders Book Store. Every now and then I surprise her by taking her for a weekend to the country. We will just start driving without a destination in mind, and when we feel like it we will find a hotel and spend a weekend there. It is fun and always different.
I have discovered that in relationships as in life, you get what you give. Give respect, caring and love and you will receive it back tenfold. Try a few of these suggestions and you might be pleasantly surprised how well your relationship will improve.
Ken Katz writes for http://www.1udate.com dating site. 1udate has lots of information to help you understand internet dating and finding the partner of your dreams. If you would like to use this article please have a link back to my site: http://www.1udate.com.

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In a relationship, most often than not, you can blame it on the guys to be inactive in the romance department. Thoughtfulness is the main ingredient to keep a relationship alive. There is really no exact formula on how to be a romantic person and being romantic would naturally come out if you really care and love the person you are with.
Rule number one is to add your own style and personal charm in romancing. If you are backlogged when it comes to romance, here are some simple ideas that you can use:
Personalize It
Giving a woman a jewelry box is an ordinary thing. But if she sees that the jewelry box you bought her is her favorite color, her kind of style and with her name on it, then she might give the jewelry box a second look and cherish it forever. The point is, no matter how ordinary a thing is, if you give it a real thought before buying, then the efforts of choosing a gift that you think would please her would count as being romantic.
Surprises
Do something out of the blue. If your usual night out would mean a dinner date at McDonald’s then a fine dining restaurant of her choice would absolutely surprise her. If you are not used to giving small token of appreciation like flowers or chocolates, then do so once in a while.
Quality Time
If you’re out of the budget and can’t afford to buy gifts or treat your partner to some fancy restaurants, then you must be thrilled that there is a great alternative to all these materials things. Yes, your quality time would be enough. Spending time lazing on the couch in front of some good TV would do the trick. Your sweet gestures and kind words like “I miss the smell of your hair” can even lead to some serious romancing.
The Magic of Touch
It is always a good sight when you see couples walk hand in hand. The sensuality of one’s touch can do wonders. Of course, be sincere and touch only a woman’s “safe” parts like her hair, chin and shoulders.
Being romantic should be a natural thing for someone who’s in love. If you are having a hard time thinking of romantic ways to please your partner just think of something that can make her smile. If you can do that, you would consequently find a way to make her heart jump.
Ron Zvagelsky has a degree in Business Administration from the University of Southern California. He graduated Magna Cum Laude in May 2006. He is currently the Chief Executive Officer of http://www.planjam.com - a new interactive planning website.

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Hundreds of people, bright lights, microphones and uncomfortable clothing, not the ideal setting to stand up and start talking, particularly at the moment where you are probably nervous, sweating, dry mouthed and your stomach feels like its doing somersaults!
You will be pleased to know there are ways to combat your fears and settle your nerves.
The first thing to remember is who your audience is. They will be your friends and family not a jeering bunch of hecklers. They do not want to see you fall short but if you do they will be sympathetic.
Secondly remember to breathe, take deep and slow breathes. Do not rush your words.
Try stretching out your fingers and toes. Sounds silly but it really does work!.
Some people say eating a banana before the speech can help with anxiety and at the same time give you energy.
Do not drink! One alcoholic drink is fine to calm your nerves but then stick to water. There is nothing more cringe worthy than a wedding speech delivered by a slurring drunkard.
Be yourself, nobody is perfect and your audience will not expect you to be.
If you become emotional do not worry just take a moment to compose yourself and remember if you are getting choked you probably won’t be the only one.
Imagine you are talking to someone at the end of the room and project your voice accordingly. Remember to make eye contact with your audience as they will soon tire and become distracted if you deliver your speech head down reading from a script.
The wedding speech order Bearing in mind cultural diversities there are three main speeches given at the reception. They are the father of the bride speech, the bridegrooms and the best mans. Occasionally the maid of honor or a good friend of the bride will also give a wedding speech.
By tradition the father of the bride would be called upon, firstly to toast the grooms parents and then raise a toast to the bride and groom. This is a good way to open because it is easy to remember and involves the audience from the outset. This allows them to acknowledge the bride and groom and at the same time give you a few precious seconds to overcome any early nerves or wobbly knees. The father of the bride would then welcome the groom to his family and finally end his wedding speech by saying a few loving words about his daughter.
The bridegroom would then respond by thanking his parents for his upbringing and the parents of the bride for raising such a beautiful daughter. He would then take the opportunity on behalf of his wife and himself to thank the guests for attending and for the gifts received.
The best mans wedding speech is probably the toughest to get right as this speech is expected to be light hearted and fun as well as sincere. A joke or two in good taste will keep the listeners captivated plus hearing your audience laugh will be a tonic for your nerves in addition to raising your confidence! Other duties include a toast to the bridesmaids and to present them with gifts on behalf of the bride and groom in appreciation. He should also read a few (not too many) of the guest wedding cards. To end his speech he should wish the bride and groom success, health and happiness in the years to come.
Above all enjoy giving your wedding speech, have fun and see it as an opportunity to tell your nearest and dearest your heartfelt feelings.
Vicki Churchill is the owner of http://www.perfectweddingtableideas.com, a site that specializes in wedding table ideas and other special occasions.

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Meeting with a devout Catholic cousin who knew that I abandoned my Catholic faith for the Church of Christ sometimes ended up into an argument which also lead him to realize a truth recorded in the Bible. He knew that the Church of Christ upholds the teaching that Christ is not the God but He’s only the Son of God. And because of this, he called me a Christian who has no God.
He’s actually insulting me with that way of persecution. But I didn’t mind his insults. Instead I asked him a question: “What do you think? Is God invisible or not?”
“Of course God is invisible,” he immediately answered.
“Well, that’s true, ” I said. “If God is invisible, then Christ would be invisible too, isn’t it?
So, here’s the point of asking him something like that…
He agreed that God is invisible. And that is true because Apostle Paul said this:
17 Now to the King eternal, immortal, invisible, to God who alone is wise,[a]be honor and glory forever and ever. Amen. (I Timothy 1:17, NKJV)
It is because God is spirit;
24 God is Spirit, and those who worship Him must worship in spirit and truth.” (John 4:24, ibid)
And the Spirit according to Christ has no flesh and bones:
39 Behold My hands and My feet, that it is I Myself. Handle Me and see, for a spirit does not have flesh and bones as you see I have.” (Luke 24:39, ibid)
And since he believe that Christ is God, so I asked him if Christ is also invisible because God is invisible. But He answered no or that Christ is not invisible.
Actually, he is again right, that Christ is not invisible because according to the Gospel written by Apostle John, the Apostles saw Christ and even touched Him. And then Christ even said that He is not spirit but someone who has flesh and bones.
39 Behold My hands and My feet, that it is I Myself. Handle Me and see, for a spirit does not have flesh and bones as you see I have.” (Luke 24:39, ibid)
From here, we can already tell the difference between Christ and God. God is invisible while Christ is not. God is spirit while Christ has flesh and bones. And one thing that we should know, that no one has seen God at any time, just like what Apostle John said:
12 No one has seen God at any time. If we love one another, God abides in us, and His love has been perfected in us. (I John 4:12, ibid)
If Christ is really the God then Apostle John wouldn’t say that, because he was with Christ even before Christ ascended to heavens. We all know that saying that “no one has seen God at anytime” means from the very beginning until the time the Apostle John wrote that part of the Bible, no one has ever seen God physically.
So, accusing me as Christian without God just because I believe that Christ is not the God, is something that should be refrained, because it is only based on his own belief not on the truth recorded on the Bible. My belief on the true God that Christ taught me remains in me and will not be moved by such persecution because this belief means the eternal life through Christ:
1 Jesus spoke these words, lifted up His eyes to heaven, and said: “Father, the hour has come. Glorify Your Son, that Your Son also may glorify You, 3 And this is eternal life, that they may know You, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom You have sent. (John 17:1,3, ibid)
Sustines E. Laplana (SELaplana: http://www.selaplana.com ) is the first Pinoy Blogger and EMarketer in Southern Leyte, Philippines who blogs on Technology, Society and Reviews/Promotions of products and owns the Cellphones For Sale blog ( http://cellphones-for-sale.blogspot.com ). Writing articles is his passion. And writing religious articles is his love, so that everyone will learn the truth taught by the Bible.

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No matter how much we like to see the good guy triumph in the end and those who have committed crimes be punished for them, we can never quite shake off that sneaking enjoyment that comes from bad guys doing what they do and being good at it! Gangster movies have been a part of American cinema from the beginning and by taking a quick look at the genre, we definitely can see why.
The two movies that are considered the grandfathers of this film genre are Little Caeser, starring Edward G. Robinson and Public Enemy, starring James Cagney. In both of these films, the gangsters get their comeuppance, but often, that’s not what the audience remembers. In Little Caeser, you remember the scenes of Robinson’s character Rico living it up in the lap of luxury and in Public Enemy, you fondly remember Tom Powers, played by Cagney doing a delighted little two step on a public street when a girl smiles at him.
Gangsters in Hollywood come in a variety of different flavors and Al Pacino has played two extremely different archetypes. In the Godfather movies, he is the elegant and doomed Michael Corleone, the war hero who got dragged reluctantly into the family business, while in Scarface, he plays the crazed killer Tony Montana, a Cuban who rose from immigrant to drug kingpin. Both of these characters were (in very different ways) extremely charismatic and its easy to see how we’re drawn to them.
There are also quite a few movies that pay homage to the classic gangster movies, or satirize them, depending on your point of view. The prime time show, The Sopranos, features a modern day organized crime association where the members are quietly and sometimes not so quietly obsessed with Goodfellas and The Godfather and will quote them at any opportunity. Brick, a movie about love and death in high school, was heavily influenced by the classic Miller’s Crossing in terms of tone and language.
The story of the gangster can be seen as the American Dream that is played in fast-forward. It usually starts with a young boy looking for a way out of poverty and with some luck and some help, he makes it to the top. Maybe that’s the appeal of the gangster genre, and maybe that’s why we’re so willing to forgive the things they do to get there.
Don’t look for a morality lesson when you watch gangster movies. You’ll end up rooting for the wrong guy and when he inevitably gets what’s coming to him, you’ll be annoyed and disappointed. Gangsters top the charts in charisma, but their life expectancy and chances for lasting happiness are practically nil.
Jay Smith makes it easy to understand your DVD copying choices with honest reviews, informative articles & free trials. Visit http://www.bestdvdduplicating.com/1click.html today to download your free 1 Click DVD Copy Trial.

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Cricket is one such sport or rather a fun game that manages to hook all its lovers to the stadium or to the television when a match goes on. In fact fans are bound to stop their routine work so that they can become a part of the live action. History has witnessed some of the most amazing cricket matches that have been played and these matches have made cricket a much loved game. Today cricket has become one most wanted game, where many around the world want to become a successful cricketer. In fact it seems that youngsters have cricket running in their veins instead of blood. It can also be said that cricket is another name for enthusiasm, energy and life.
With tremendous love for the game of cricket, it seems that cricket fans have made this game an even more wanted game. In fact when a cricket match is on they seem to go crazy about the cricket match and try their level best not to miss the match. But at times they unfortunately have to miss out on some matches and this becomes so painful for them. But today with the advancement of technology it seems that life has become much simpler. In fact it is this advancement in technology and the love of cricket that all sorts of arrangements have been made for these cricket lovers so that they can always remain connected to their favorite game of cricket.
The love for cricket has made people come out with cricket portals where one can get any information about their much loved game. In fact these cricket portals also give out information about your favorite cricketers and you can even share a picture gallery of all your favorite matches and the joyous moments. So that you don’t miss out on any of the actions, these cricket portals or rather online websites give out the live scores and actions of the cricket match. In fact there are various mediums from where cricket fans can get updated about a particular match that they could not watch due to some problems. These mediums include cricket news on the internet or rather online websites that are dedicated to cricket, television news and mobile network providers who help cricket fans to stay updated by sending these cricket fanatics constant short message services or sms on their mobile phones.
Cricket is in fact a much loved game and cricket lovers find it difficult to miss even a single action of a cricket match. Cricket has managed to gain much popularity all over the globe; in fact these days cricket news has also become important as it gives out news related to match schedule, team description, spicy issues or coach selection. Whatever the match is cricket lovers always want to stay updated with the entire match or even for the entire tournament. In fact cricket fans’ love the game and their passion for the game makes them start making adjustments in their daily schedules, weeks before the actual tournament. Thus we can always say that cricket is exclusively for cricket lovers.
Ella Wilson is a cricket fanatic. She simply loves the game and tries to catch live action no matter where she is. To know more about cricket score,live cricket score,cricket and Cricket News visit at http://www.stickiewicket.com

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I first came across the whole idea of dating a Russian woman by accident. I got an email from out of the blue from ICQ, which asked if I wanted to post my picture and bio on their website. I was not dating anyone at the time and went ahead and sent the info to them on a lark.
Within a short period of time, I received an email from a woman named Larisa, from Ukraine, who spoke pretty good English. We corresponded back and forth for a few months. She asked me to meet her in Austria. I agreed.
I set up a ten-day trip for the two of us through Austria. At the end of a couple of days, it was obvious to me that we were not compatible. We still had eight more days of our trip together. I sucked it up, and in spite of our incompatibility, I managed to enjoy myself.
However, I resolved that I would no longer waste the time and expense of a major trip on one person I had never met. I vowed that on my next trip, I would visit a number of women so I would not relive the experience of budgeting a lot of time and money for a woman who turns out to be incompatible with me.
From my experience with Larisa, I concluded that I would be able to tell within a matter of a few days, if there was anything that was going to happen between another woman and I. I could tell if I liked her. I could tell if she liked me. I would experience her different moods. She would find out if she liked being with me.
If one or another situation was less than perfect, I knew that at least I would be moving on in a matter of days. Also, I could compare my experiences with each woman that I had met.
John Kunkle has been married to a Russian women for over five years. He has travelled the path from finding her, to traveling to Russia, to bring his wife to America, and adjusting to married life. He will show you step by step how to do this yourself.

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For engagement and wedding jewelry lovers looking for jewelry that conveys deep significance, many will find that of the engagement and wedding rings available in the market today lack in this respect. Sure, any engagement or wedding jewelry will be linked to when they were given and what they are for. Beyond this fact, however, they contain little symbolism by nature. In the case of a Claddagh ring though, the search for meaning that can be derived from the jewelry itself ends. Claddagh rings originated from Ireland in the village of The Claddagh in Galway. The natural symbolism of these beautiful pieces of jewelry make them popular among friends, unmarried couples and married couples alike.
Deeply rooted in Celtic traditions, Claddagh rings are Irish jewelry designs made up of two hands holding a heart with a crown topping the heart. A time-tested design that is centuries old, every one of these symbols have deep significance. The two hands represent friendship while the heart represents love and the crown symbolizes loyalty. It is easy to see why the intrinsic value of Claddagh rings make them preferred rings for couples who exchange these Celtic rings during their wedding ceremony instead of with traditional wedding rings. Claddagh rings have traditionally served the purpose of an external symbol of marital status. The popularity continues to grow and you will find that today, even non-Irish couples choose Celtic engagement rings and Celtic wedding rings.
How the ring is worn must be observed as it sends an important message about a person’s availability. Claddagh rings worn incorrectly or with total disregard for the meanings is considered rude, especially more so if you are non-Irish. It is important to learn how a Claddagh ring should be worn so the traditions behind these rings are honored.
When worn on the right hand, it means the wearer is either unattached or engaged. The key lies in which way the heart is facing. When the heart faces outward or points towards the fingernails, it shows everyone that the person is still unattached. When the heart is facing inward (i.e. pointing towards the wrist), it shows that the person’s heart is spoken for. This wearing method is used as a sign of friendship before the wedding.
At the wedding ceremony, couples will take out their Claddagh rings and move it to their left ring finger with the hearts facing inward to show that two hearts are joined in marriage.
Even though the use of Claddagh rings are found in Irish weddings, Celtic rings make excellent gifts among close friends as well. When a Claddagh ring is given to a friend, it is usually accompanied with the saying “Let love and friendship reign”.
There you have it — a guide to Claddagh rings and how they should be worn. Armed with this knowledge, you can even appear to be Irish to your Irish friends.
By Tim O’Malley for http://www.shanore.com Buy authentic, custom-made Irish jewelry direct from Ireland at Shanore. They carry a wide assortment of Celtic rings from Celtic engagement rings to Celtic wedding rings including Claddagh rings. Visit their blog at http://blog.shanore.com/

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Statistics show that marriages are ending at an alarming rate and that the length of the average marriage is now under seven years. Why are today’s marriages not working? Why are relationships so stressful, difficult and unsatisfying for so many people? I believe it’s due to bad match-ups. If you marry someone with whom you are not well suited, the road to happiness is a very hard one.

So what can you do to turn this unhappiness around? The answer is to pay attention when choosing your life partner. Love and physical attraction are never enough. A strong relationship needs compatibility and commitment from both partners. Compatibly is more than just having the same interests, likes and dislikes; it’s wanting the same things out of life and having the same belief systems. Finding a partner whom you love and with whom you are compatible is the prescription for a healthy, lasting relationship.

It is your responsibility not only to yourself but to your future children to choose your life partner with care. Enduring difficult personal relationships can create much unhappiness and chaos and can be traumatic for everyone involved. The end of a marriage (or a long-term relationship) involves grief, and unfortunately children end up the big losers if the damage is passed along to them.

We want to share our lives with someone with whom we can connect on the deepest level and enjoy a true sense of partnership. We all deserve someone who will treasure, love, protect, admire, support and adore us.

The following 19 steps can help you find your soulmate and achieve relationship success:

1. Be good to yourself. By practicing self-love you become a magnet to your soulmate. If you don’t love yourself first, how is anyone else going to love you?

2. Confidence is beautiful. To be successful in finding true love, you need to be confident. You are more likely to attract the right love if you are fulfilled.

3. Find happiness in yourself. You can’t be completely happy in a relationship until you are happy with yourself and your life. Remember that your outer world is a reflection of your inner world. Change starts from the inside out.

4. Nurture your spiritual side. You should be emotionally and spiritually prepared to bring in your soulmate.

5. Know yourself well. Before choosing a lifelong partner, know what your dreams are and what you need to be happy. You are responsible for creating the quality of your life.

6. Stay true to your values. Never compromise your values for anyone. By staying true to your values, you protect yourself from unnecessary pain.

7. Never select a mate out of need. Do not choose a mate out of loneliness, financial insecurity or fear of the future. When you are feeling negative about yourself or your life, you are very likely to make the wrong choice.

8. True love comes to those who wait. Keep in mind that destiny has its own timetable-you must be patient. Always keep your eyes on the prize. If you settle for second best, you will miss out on your perfect match. Be patient. Sometimes is seems that you’ll never find your soulmate. There may be lessons you need to learn before you are ready. The faster you do your inner work and become the person you want to attract, the faster you will connect with your beloved.

9. You deserve to be happy. So what if you are not perfect? No human being is. Always assume that you are worthwhile and accept yourself as you are.

10. Ignorance is not bliss. Get to know someone well before you jump into a relationship. The more information you have, the better you’ll be able to judge whether or not this person will make a good life partner.

11. In order to love well, we must be emotionally mature. Relationships are successful only when both partners are mature enough to see that a good relationship is built on mutual trust and attention to each other’s wants and needs.

12. Build relationship skills that make marriage work. Educate yourself. There are hundreds of great relationship books-pick one up.

13. Prepare yourself for a committed relationship. If you want to find someone special to love and to be loved back in return, you need to prepare for it.

14. To receive healthy love, you have to be healthy. Your relationship isn’t going to go smoothly if you’re not well and at peace with yourself. By being healthy in body, mind and spirit, you will attract a high-quality relationship.

15. Breaking up is hard to do. But if you are not happy, respected and fulfilled in your present relationship, it might be time to end it. Free each other so you can find more compatible mates.

16. Never ignore or justify the warning signs of possible problems. These warning signs are there for you to take notice.

17. Become the person you want to attract. Like attracts like. If you wish to attract a loving, respectful and considerate person, then you have to become a loving, respectful and considerate person.

18. Avoid having sex before commitment. The best way to test a relationship’s potential is to postpone having sex. It becomes harder to be objective about a relationship if you become sexually intimate too soon.

19. Don’t feel bad about not having met you soulmate yet. Get excited instead. You have something wonderful to look forward to.

Connecting with you soulmate is not as difficult as many of us believe. The only thing stopping you from being with your meant-to-be love is you. Make the necessary changes in your life and remember that awareness is the first step to change. Accept that where you are right now is the result of choices you have made in the past, and where you will be in the future depends on the choices you make now.

Your fate is in your hands. Only you can make the choices that support your happiness. Once you become aware of what you are doing and why, you can begin to change your behaviour.

Love and blessings,
Joanne B. Parrotta
Author of: A Matter of Destiny
http://www.amatterofdestiny.com

Motivational writer Joanne B. Parrotta is the author of “A Matter of Destiny: How to Find and Marry Your Soulmate: A Beginner’s Spiritual Guide (BookSurge Publishing, an amazon.com company, 2006).” To learn more about this fascinating subject and to sign up for you’re FREE instantly down loadable soulmate reports, visit her website at: http://www.amatterofdestiny.com.

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Instant Internet Dating Success?
So you have been ploughing through those endless profiles on your internet dating site and have come up with someone who interests you. There has been an exchange of emails. He sounds fun and witty and you begin to look forward to his messages. You find yourself getting up earlier in the morning just to log on whilst you drink your coffee to see if he has sent a response to your latest remarks. During the day you find yourself compiling witty replies in your head and suggestive lines to throw his way. This has gone on for a couple of weeks and he suddenly asks if he can call you. Your chest expands; you are really excited and arrange a time. Now you are curled up in your favourite chair waiting for the call. Guess what it goes well, the same light banter, his voice is not what you expect but that is OK. You talk for an hour. This becomes a daily ritual which you begin to plan your time around. And then he invites you to dinner…
Preparing for that ‘first’ date
It has been a while since someone invited you out to dinner (you may be just starting dating after your divorce). Your immediate thought is what to wear, need my hair done etc. This means that you spend the best part of a week running around with the one thought in your mind “I must get this right”. You seem to have disappeared and you feel that you need to invent a new person to go on this date. In order to be that person you have to package yourself in some particular way. There must be some key that you can find, a particular dress, new haircut etc. You believe that you need to make yourself more appealing.
Is this a Relationship?
The evening has arrived and you meet at the arranged restaurant (good step, as all the dating advice recommends that you meet in a public place). You are especially nervous and excited but also slightly uncomfortable because the shoes are new and you feel a bit wobbly in them. It is strange you recognise this person but at the same time you don’t. The voice you know that but he does not look like the person in the photograph, taller, shorter a bit heavier or gangly something is not as you imagined. Anyway he seems quite at ease but maybe that is just a contrast to how you are feeling. Initially conversation is going well as there are points of contact from your previous conversations but it isn’t going anywhere. By the main course you are starting to drink a little too much to fill in the silences. Your feet really hurt now and you are taking surreptitious glances at your watch - only 9 o’clock. No dessert thanks and by the way you have an early start in the office tomorrow so you have to go soon. Can’t think of anything but getting out of the shoes. Yes it was good, do call me…
Fantasy Relationships
Next day or later in the week, the emails/calls are still coming and you continue to respond. It’s a though you have never met and you can get on with the easy going repartee that has become almost a habit. In your mind he is something you want him to be, well not quite but you can have yourself believe that he is whilst you exchange messages and late night calls. You are starting to develop a whole life in your head around this person, you imagine where you can live with him, what you will do, holidays together in fact everything you ever want with someone. This is taking up a lot of head space but that is enjoyable in itself, you feel connected to someone if only in your mind.
Keeping Dating in Balance
A week or so more and you are becoming slightly irritated by the emails and are not responding quite so readily. But he asks you if you want to come out for another evening and that heart leaps to your throat again. You agree even though there is a vague memory of discomfort from the first meeting. Well you remind yourself that all the dating advice recommends that it is about getting to know someone. I can’t expect to feel comfortable about everything immediately. He is suggesting dinner again, you don’t really want to but you are not sure what you want to do so you go along with it. You had arranged to see a girl-friend that night but you tell her you can’t make it, she seems a bit put-out but you put that thought aside.
The second evening seems very long.
• Too much too soon - It is so tempting to put all your focus on one person at a time when you are looking to date on the internet. But it is important to remember that not only are all those people out there looking at numerous people at any one time but you could be too. If you put most of your time and energy into any one contact at a very early stage this means that you cannot scout, screen and sort other possible people.
• Dating Advice #1: Don’t make a big investment emotionally in any relationship without solid foundations.
• Throwing money at it - Recent research has revealed that online daters are spending up to £1,500 a month taking out people who they realise, after the first 15 minutes are not for them. (Independent, June 2005) Remember be authentic, the packaging is only that and is not who you are. Meeting for a cup of coffee or a drink will give you enough time to assess whether this person is someone you want to know better.
• Dating Advice #2: Packaging is not the answer, be clear about who you are, what you want in a relationship and set about finding it in a considered way.
• Thinking you know this person - We can easily be seduced by email conversations and late night telephone calls. Apart from the actual chemistry that is missing in these exchanges there is that part that you know very well yourself, where you just reveal what you want at any given time. If you know what your requirements are in a relationship this will help you assess quite quickly if this person is for you. Most of us allow things to just drift along and are not pro-active in having a plan for ourselves when it comes to relationships.
• Dating Advice #3: How is it we plan for everything except relationships? Take some time to plan what you want in a relationship before you get into a habit or rut with someone.
• Fantasy - it’s only in your head - It is very easy to live in the fantasy of a relationship even from a very early stage. After all that is why you have signed up on the dating site in the first place - you want a relationship. However, being truthful with yourself is easier if you have a relationship plan. Then you can ask yourself, from the information you have so far, does this person tick some of my boxes. If so then you can continue to find out more about them whilst finding out about other people at the same time. Projecting onto any one person, especially at a very early stage, all you hopes and dreams is likely to bring you some amount of pain and heartache when you find this isn’t going to work out.
• Dating Advice #4: Spread the emotional load by giving your attention to a number of people, it helps deal with the ups and downs of the dating cycle if you are not exclusive right from the start.
• Not paying enough attention to the signals - it is amazing how quickly we can get ourselves into habits and relationships, however new, are one of those areas. We all like attention and contact with people but what about the rest of your life, those friends who have been around for you, your family. Anyone who might be for you will, you hope, want to share life with a person who has a balanced life and that includes all the other activities and people in your life. Straining towards exclusivity at a very early stage and throwing all your time and attention towards the relationship can be a disaster.
• Dating Advice #5: Get out there and have any dating and relationships fit in with your life as a successful single. Know what your requirements, needs and wants are and look for someone who can meet those.
Trisha Stone

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Dicke Muschis
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